I'd like to welcome all you suckers to struggle-ville say ahh open up and take this pill. You'll sit down in your cubicle and eat when we tell you to and when your services are not needed here anymore, you'll clean out your desk by noon and no talking to the new kid security will see you all the way to the door. It's like a prison but we pay you more so you owe us more just lock your doors and feel real safe inside your house is no longer a good place to hide. Hey, there's no more corner office or golfing with the bosses you have a wife and kids to tell. That you got axed today and you lost your 401k you wear your necktie noose so well, and you march just like a natural, you are just what we're looking for. You're perfect in every single way so come and join our little army, of high class, beautiful, intelligent, talented, well adjusted, clean, listeners.
Have you got a headache, cold, or aneurysm working on a heart attack, with bad vision. Back hurts, can't breathe right, afraid to fall arthritis, hemorrhoids, high cholesterol. Embarrassed by your bad skin not good with the ladies, don't quite fit in. Too fat, too skinny, way too tall bring all your problems, because this will cure them all, this will cure em all, this might cure some of them.

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